Module Eight: Shattering Sexual Soul Ties
The lack of spiritual and physical marital intimacy is a major issue in the world today. The divorce rate continues to soar as well as the use of pornography, both of which can be rooted in the lack of satisfaction in the marital bed.
I understand this issue because I entered my marriage with a history of promiscuity that also included a past abortion. My husband, Tom, was compassionate when they met, offering one of his favorite sayings, “Don’t let the past remind us of what we are not now.”
Despite this comfort, I still felt the shame of her past promiscuity lurking within my mindset, directly affecting my marital intimacy. I had many sexual soul ties that I had never shared with Tom, which the enemy would bring to mind at various points in her life. The overall negative message I heard was that my husband would not love me if he discovered the extent of my past promiscuity.
Our marriage endured periods of sexual inactivity with no desire or discussion of change. With God’s help, I was continuously convicted that I had not “put to death” the memories of my previous sexual relationships – or sexual soul ties. Triggers of old lovers lurked in every corner of my mind, interfering with the Godly love and blessing that a marital union should provide.
God provided me with this passage to help me begin to confess these sexual soul ties to Tom – . . . we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to every man’s conscience in the sight of God. II Corinthians 4:2
Another convicting passage was found in Colossians 3:5-10 – Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived… Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator.
Through my ministry efforts with individuals hurting after abortion, I discovered this sexually specific shame was a common issue as many women also expressed the inability to enjoy marital intimacy with loving husbands. Tom and I began a gentle process that God used to release us both from our personal sexual soul ties and restored the virgin status to our marital union.
Module 8 is designed to help individuals consider, confess and process any sexual soul ties that may remain in the hearts.