To get started in shattering your past sexual soul ties, it’s good to begin by simply writing out your sexual soul tie story. Writing allows you to list out the names and some of the experiences with that person.
Making A List
When my abortion healing became first in my heart, God led me to begin shattering my sexual soul ties by first remembering each lover and making a list of their names. I admit there were a few that I could not name because of the briefness of the encounter. In these cases I would remember them as “Man A” or via their job (i.e., “MSU Professor”).
When sharing my list making during a Ramah conference one woman told me, “Honey, it would take me reams of paper to write them all down!” While this may be the case, it is still good to start remembering and dealing with each person as individually as possible.
After the list was made, I found that in the weeks to follow, other names would come to mind. Many times I was horrified and overwhelmed at the thought of how easily I had slept with strangers. I took time to thank and praise God for protecting me from harm and disease.
In other cases, the memories were nice because I had felt loved and safe. The relationship had ended sweetly – even romantically. Yet the fact was that it was a memory of sin. In these cases, I had to take every thought captive and realize that despite the pleasure of the encounter, I had been totally sinful in the situation.
One important concept to embrace in working through these memories is to steer them away from re-establishing a relationship with a past lover. Many husbands are intimidated by their wives attending a class where they are working to remember a child they had with another man.
If your current marriage relationship is at a difficult point, recalling the memories of the love of the other person could allow Satan to destroy the marriage. Writing letters that you never send is a useful alternative to overcoming this yearning to contact.
When my initial testimony was aired on Focus on the Family broadcast, 10 million people tuned it. It was important that I contact “Alan” beforehand to inform him that our secret would be revealed. While I never shared his real name publicly, and still do not, he needed to be prepared.
My goal was also to encourage him to tell his parents. Later I would locate their names on the Focus on the Family database and send them my own confession and an apology for aborting their grandchild. My husband read and approved my letter to “Alan” before it was sent. While he never responded, I had no other choice but to make him aware that I had gone public with the death of our child.