Sharing Guidelines

Before teaching others about shattering sexual soul ties, my husband, Tom, and I felt challenged to do the same exercise in our own relationship. One of the scariest things I ever revealed to my husband was the exact number of sexual partners from my past. I had been fearful that should he know the details of my past, he would likely leave me. This fear held a great deal of power within our marriage. So sharing these shameful truths with him meant that I could lose his love!

There are many individuals reading this that could never imagine sharing their deepest, darkest secrets with their spouses. They may feel it’s unnecessary and would rather not bring up the past in such a detailed manner.

Our goal is not to push anyone into exposing their history publicly if God is not leading them to do so. Yet there often is a trusted friend in these situations with whom we can entrust our deepest secrets. Our team would be happy to help you in these confessions because sometimes strangers are the easiest to share with!  Just contact us if we can help.

Prayer is the first step in any personal cleansing experience. God’s calling upon our lives was to get rid of anything that stood between us. After 17 years of marriage, these memories were the only things in our way. He must have known how Satan was using these unconfessed truths to keep us from enjoying each other as He had planned.

In simply discussing this exercise, we weighed the pros and cons of sharing from deep within. One of the cons was that these truths could promote discomfort in the other. Another con was that we really didn’t want to share everything and maybe it would be better unsaid.

On the positive side, the truth is always what Jesus pushes for in scripture in John 8:32 – Ye shall know the truth and the truth will set you free.”  In helping others, our personal experience in this exercise was necessary to gain credibility. The exercise clearly was something God was recommending.

Before we began, we set some initial ground rules. These rules are as follows:

  • The truths shared could NEVER be used against each other in any way.
  • These truths were between us and wouldn’t be shared with others.
  • We would set up the time of sharing at least 24 hours in advance so that we could both prepare mentally.
  • During each sharing time the goal was to only share one truth. Any additional or related truths could be shared if both agreed.
  • Only one meeting would occur each month.

“Truths” needed to be something that the other person didn’t know. In other words, my “number of lovers” was something Tom didn’t know. This was the first thing I shared with him.  When his turn came, he shared about his high school girlfriend and their relationship. At the end of this initial conversation, we determined that there was no rush to finish the exercise. We would simply take it slow. Both of us already had a list of the future truths we would share.

In the end, we talked monthly and finished sharing our secrets. Looking back I can say that it wasn’t an easy time. But the incredible thing was that the memories of these past sexual soul ties were removed and no longer vivid. The purity that returned to our hearts reminded us of restored virginity. God healed us by having us share our darkest moments with each other!  The result was an amazing new relationship!

We now feel completely blessed and trust each other to a greater level than we imagined possible. Our intimacy has dramatically increased as well as our trust for each other. The same can happen in your life, or those that you love! Again, we’d be happy to help you with this process!

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