Justice After Abortion
“I must have been sleeping for the last ten years,” the caller screamed. “I’ve been blinded to the horrors of my own abortion. I lived in denial that has evaporated. I don’t need healing. I need to end this horror for other women by working to make abortion illegal!”
Like curtains on our eyes, denial after abortion has many shapes and forms. Initially, we incorrectly perceive that we can forget making this choice. In carefully locking this secret sin in the deepest chambers of our hearts, we often go on to act like nothing has happened.
When we encounter “life events” – weddings, funerals, births of children, etc. – pent up emotions can be quickly released. In shattering denial, God opens our eyes to the truth of our sin.
In finally discovering that we took the life of a human being, rage and vengeance against the abortion industry is a typical first reaction. If not tempered by God’s healing, the need for post-abortion justice can be highly destructive to everyone involved.
Fresh out of denial, post-abortive people often begin to research abortion. Discovering the staggering number aborted each year in the US alone – 1,200,000 – sparks additional ire and horror. Many also discover graphic abortion photos on the Internet that shows bloody and dismembered tiny humans. Those photos can understandingly get anyone very angry about abortion. Please do not research abortion on-line as the graphic images there can easily overwhelm you and lead to depression.
To make abortion illegal, post-abortive individuals often make hasty family confessions without preparation. Feelings of rejection and self-loathing often make it difficult to communicate at all. In these moments, we often hurt the ones we love and perceive their reactions to our truth as “judgment.” Shock is a better definition than judgment, because many must process our abortion truth before reacting in a way they want!
Grief is on the doorstep in these moments and the common defense against tears is anger. Unhinged and deeply disturbed, post-abortive hearts can encounter all sorts of dysfunctional emotions until they discover God’s forgiveness.
When God rolled away the denial curtains that hung like clouds over my eyes, an internal fury quickly overwhelmed me. The ferocity of my post-abortion rage both startled and consumed me quickly.
I fell into panic, realizing other women were still ending the lives of their children. Thankfully, I was then working for the largest pro-life organization in the US in that day – Focus on the Family. Learning about pregnancy centers – that offer women the support needed to continue their pregnancies – added only joy to my heart.
My abortion truth broke me more than I realized. How could I have stood by for nearly eleven years defending my choice in my heart? When I read the symptoms of Abortion PTSD (post-abortion syndrome), I saw my life’s heartaches outlined clearly. That allowed a pathway to healing through a pregnancy center’s abortion recovery program.
When bitterness and anger seeps into an already broken heart, the need for “justice” can ignite. Thankfully, God tempers wounded hearts. In my life, I was allowed to confess this sin and seek out healthy ways to help other women make a better choice than abortion.
Romans 12:18-19 helped temper my fury – If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.
One of the strongest of human passions – anger – seldom leaves our hearts without being addressed directly. When denied, anger finds other ways to express itself, often through bitterness or depression. When expressed inappropriately, it can be terribly destructive to anyone unfortunate enough to be in its path.
During the aftershock of post-abortive understanding, justice is the last emotion we should pursue. Whether it seethes on the surface or hides underneath, anger is an emotion that needs attention. When it’s related to abortion, it often acts as a roadblock to healing – around which there is no detour.
My deep desire to end abortion was channeled in a healthy manner by sharing my testimony on a 1992 Focus on the Family broadcast. God helped me outline why women make this choice and advertise God’s healing. An abortion recovery program helped me work through every emotion – denial, anger, forgiveness, grief and letting go – resulting in deep peace and Godly direction.
It is a comfort to know that there will be a day in heaven when all of us will account for our lives here on Earth. Psalms 37:1-2 outlines, Do not fret because of evil men or be envious of those who do wrong; for like the grass they will soon wither, like green plants they will soon die away.
There are peaceful and effective ways to pursue justice after abortion. After healing, working to end abortion can be both powerful and effective. Even in simply voting for pro-life candidates, you can help end abortion’s devastation.
If you have been wounded by a post-abortive person in pain, please begin the process of forgiving them as you hope to be forgiven. We will discuss the concept of forgiving in Module 5. Research Abortion PTSD to help understand their reactions better. Ask God to help them find peace so they can live a life free of the burden of abortion’s sin. Our team is here to help!