3 Common Mindsets After Abortion
“Watching your abortion testimony changed my life, Sydna,” the caller outlined. “I’ve never known anyone like you who has struggled after their abortion decision. I thought I was the only one but I’m just like you. You told my abortion story!”
“No, you are not alone,” I gently responded. “One third of all the women in America have experienced this pain. We just don’t socialize with each other.”
Post-abortion healing often begins when post-abortive women take the tentative step to exit their self-imposed prisons of secrecy to reach out for help. I will never forget the day I summoned the courage to open a pamphlet entitled, Identifying and Overcoming Post-Abortion Syndrome.
Simply reading something with the term abortion was outside of my comfort zone. Yet this resource offered me the understanding of the source of the pain in my heart. In finally reading something about the emotional impact of abortion, I was enlightened about abortion’s deep influence on my life.
Early conversations about healing typically include an outline of the common mindsets post-abortive women can experience after abortion. These include:
Due to the shame and self-loathing after abortion, many believe that discovering deep peace is impossible. Tandem to this thought is the difficult mindset – or conclusion – that we do not deserve God’s peace because we allowed our child to die.
Many simply “shut down” emotionally when abortion is discussed. They are often unable to digest the potential hope that God offers. Few realize that other post-abortive women encounter similar emotions and that their pain is normal.
The best way to inspire hope in these hearts is to talk plainly about God’s love regarding ANY sin, even abortion. Mentioning the word abortion in outlining God’s unconditional love is essential. Listening to the testimony of a healed post-abortive woman is also helpful. My video outlines the simple story of how I ended up in an abortion clinic as well as how God’s love transformed my life when I embraced an abortion recovery program.
The Denial Habit
Many post-abortive individuals have built a wall of protection around their hearts, isolating them from any memories or pain. While they come to tears without ever knowing why, they remain steadfast in the logic that their abortion was a GOOD decision. This is enabled by the mindset of denial that they didn’t abort a child but a “blob of tissue.”
Fetal development photos and ultrasound scans can be the first wrecking ball that comes against the wall of denial built strongly in their heart. The shock of the truth that they aborted a fully developed baby can rattle them to their core, breaking down many bricks in the denial wall.
Many are so adept in the habit of denial that they perfectly brick the wall back up again. Others attempt to regain denial but fail, falling into deeper depression and pain without knowing what to do next. It is very difficult to deny an aborted child when you begin to love a second child that has just been placed in your arms after giving birth.
One direct hit of a wrecking ball doesn’t shatter denial immediately. It takes ongoing Godly efforts to bring down the well-fortified barrier. When that wall comes down, many find Ramah International’s website and contact us for local help.
When abortion pain would hit my heart, I would disregard it by becoming drunk or high. I openly and actively blamed everyone else for the choice that I had made myself.
On that prodigal journey, God put many individuals into my path that could offer me His hope of healing. But I could not bear the thought of consciously dealing with the grief, guilt and agony of resurrecting my aborted child from the depths of my heart.
During this dysfunctional time, I could not consider that my abortion was the source of any pain in my heart. Only God could help me face the truth – that no one had forced me to abort. In acknowledging my personal responsibility in walking into that clinic, my healing process began.
In a way, my child “haunted” me at every turn until God finally brought the pain to the surface and opened this wound for healing. By attending an abortion recovery class, I was assisted in naming and grieving this child. Jesse returned from, “the land of the enemy” (Jeremiah 31:15-17) and back into my heart. I am haunted no more.
There is a time for peace and war in every heart that has been impacted by abortion. If you feel stuck at this point in your recovery, complete the activity suggested in the next box. If you still feel stuck, contact us. It may be time to connect with a local abortion recovery program. We would be happy to help connect you!