When A Christian Aborts
“I don’t know how a Christian could ever abort their child,” a woman told me at a pregnancy center fund-raising event. This was just before I shared my abortion story with the audience. She had no idea that I was a Christian when I aborted my child.
I gently responded, “One in three women in any setting could be post-abortive. Most abortion patients provide a religious affiliation on their intake forms. Only 38% report they have no faith background.”1
Her look of disbelief and shock was clear. I wasn’t sure she believed me that so many around her had experienced abortion.
I continued, “In 2014, 24% of abortion patients were Catholic, 17% were mainline Protestant, 13% were evangelical Protestant and 8% identified with some other religion. Churched women are more likely to abort due to shame issues.”
I had no idea what God thought about abortion in 1981. My pastor and the Christian college I was attending had been silent on the topic. My parents never mentioned that abortion was bad or wrong.
My Christian friends quietly chose abortion to spare their family the shame of an unexpected pregnancy. There were many pregnancies on that Christian college campus that year. Sadly, there wasn’t one live birth among unmarried students. All of us chose abortion.
I did not know that abortion was the taking of a life – a sin in God’s eyes. Since abortion was “safe and legal,” I reasoned it must be okay.
I never read God’s perspective on abortion, outlined in Deuteronomy 30:19-20 – This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him.
My boyfriend informed me that he would leave me in the streets of that city if I came out pregnant. When I stepped into the abortion clinic, I was overcome with panic and felt the need to flee. It was horrifically cold at a spiritual level.
Sadly, while I may have accepted Christ, I could not discern God’s voice in my heart that day. The Holy Spirit was working to communicate but I could not – or would not – understand.
As the abortion began, all I could do was whisper in my head, “God, please forgive me.”
God didn’t leave my heart after my abortion. He was always there. His message called me to repent and sin no more. But I avoided that conviction. Believing I had committed the absolute worst sin of allowing my innocent child to die, I sadly embraced other sinful behaviors.
Isolation from the Christian community was also part of my post-abortion experience. Congregations are filled with post-abortive women who need to hear that while abortion is wrong, God’s grace and mercy can heal this sinful choice and any other.
Repenting and returning to God’s wonderful presence meant admitting my abortion was wrong. In many “life” moments, God wore down my stony heart and helped me to realize that He still loved me, no matter what.
God had a “gotcha moment” in store for me – an appointed time to bring me back to His grace and mercy once and for all. One day I felt a severe pain while pregnant with my next child. When I saw blood, I realized I could be miscarrying. Feeling desperate for God’s help, I got down on my hands and knees and begged God to forgive me for my abortion.
Thankfully, God heard my prayer. He was just waiting for me to welcome Him back so He could restore my wounded heart. I John 1:9 reveals, If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
When a Christian abort, they often have a longer road in discovering God’s redemption due to the added shame and guilt. When someone accepts Christ after choosing abortion, all their past sins are forgiven. Healing can arrive in that instant.
Jesus Christ died on the cross for the sin of abortion. By confessing our sin, we begin His amazing purifying process. As you continue to work on writing your abortion story, be sure to include moments when you heard the abortion topic being discussed. Outline how those messages impacted you – positively or negatively. Pray and ask God to help you in this process.
Hello, I am Sydna Massé Founder and CEO of Ramah International. I'd love to keep in touch and include you in our prayer chain as we continue to serve abortion's wounded and those considering abortion.
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