Module 4 Devotionals
The opposite of anger is peace. Hebrews 12:14-15 commands us to, Make every effort to live in peace with everyone and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many..
In processing the realization that my child died at my own hands, red hot anger against myself fired through my soul. As my abortion recovery class progressed, that anger was replaced with God’s amazing peace. The calm was unexpected. I never realized how much energy was taken up by this hostile emotion!
A few years later I was standing on the steps of the Capitol, waiting to address the 750,000 people gathered for a pro-life event. As I waited, I listened to many angry tirades from those who spoke before me. They were angry that abortion was still legal. I then heard one speaker offering judgmental words against those of us who had made this choice.
As I realized that I was following these angry speakers – who held a great deal of respect from the crowd due to the thunderous applause – I prayed for God’s help. He put Romans 12:1 on my heart, Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. I knew then what God wanted me to say.
Affirmed with God’s peace, I took my place on the platform. My image was projected on huge screens all around me. My first words echoed across the lawn. “I am someone who chose to abort my first child.“
There was an immediate hush. If it is possible to hear a pin drop in a crowd of 750,000 people, then that was the sound that echoed back to my ears. God had their attention. I was to sacrifice myself so that His message could be heard. The 90-second message went something like this:
“I am living proof that He (God) can use a sinner. You know, there’s no sin that the Lord can’t forgive. My sin in this choice is always before me. None of you can judge me any more than I have condemned myself over the years since my son’s death. I know that my child rests in the arms of Jesus and I’ll see him someday. God has chosen to heal my heart and given me a task in this work.
Many of you share my sin. You are here to lend your voice to stop this bloodshed. I am here to simply ask you to consider those of us who are walking in shame as you proceed. We are everywhere and need to know that God loves us too.
When the day comes that God ends abortion in our land, you will all rejoice. Yet those of us who minister to abortion’s wounded will have a great deal of work to do. Please take a moment to pray for our efforts. Pray for those who have made this choice that they may find God’s mercy, grace and peace as I have. In everything you do, reach out to our hearts with God’s compassion. Thank you.”
Afterwards I headed down into the crowd alone. Only one person stopped me to say, “Thanks.” Most didn’t notice me. I was a still small voice that day for God’s own purposes.
The next morning The Washington Post printed a quote from my speech. Of all the powerful players that had spoken that day, my tiny voice was one of the few amplified in this publication. They shared, “I’m living proof that He (God) can use a sinner.”
You never know when God will amplify His wonderful message of hope through your own sacrifice. It is your reasonable service to be obedient in His leading!