Module 1 Devotional
King David is one of my favorite authors because I can relate to his written word. In Psalm 40:1-3 he writes, I waited patiently for the Lord; and He inclined to me, and heard my cry. He also brought me up out of a horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my steps. He has put a new song in my mouth – Praise to our God; many will see it and fear, and will trust in the Lord.
The night before I was to return to the abortion recovery class to share my testimony, I was scared and pleaded with God to “incline” Himself to me.
My dreams were filled with past memories of my abortion. I devoted great energy to keeping these thoughts pent up in my heart over the years. Now they were bubbling out uncontrollably.
The consequence of obeying God in addressing this sin was that my shame was always before me. In Psalm 6:6-7, David related the same pain, I am worn out from my groaning. All night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears. My eyes grow weak with sorrow; they fail because of all my foes.
The long-buried grief tears flowed freely from my heart. I thought I was going to go crazy from the sorrow. The realization that I would never hold my lost child this side of heaven overwhelmed me. I suddenly longed for this child.
Second Samuel 11-12 relays the story of David’s unexpected pregnancy. As a King with many wives, David saw a beautiful woman bathing on her rooftop. He wanted this lovely lady, but she was the wife of Uriah. David used his authority to take advantage of Uriah’s wife while her husband was away battling for Israel. Bathsheba then became pregnant, so David brought Uriah home to sleep with her to provide his unborn child with legitimacy. As a loyal soldier, Uriah refused to sleep with his wife while his men were on the battlefield.
When his plan to trick Uriah about who was father of the expected child, it didn’t work, David found another way out of the unexpected pregnancy by sacrificing Uriah in battle. He ordered his leaders to place Uriah in harm’s way on the battlefield and desert him there. Uriah was killed. Then David took Bathsheba as his own wife and acted like nothing had happened.
God created David’s child and knew everything about his conception. David communicated with God directly. He had lived through the miracle of killing Goliath and had eventually defeated Saul. God loved David and refused to leave him in spite of his sin. He saw David’s sin and sent the prophet Nathan to confront him.
When David finally realized his murderous sin, he turned to God, repented, and asked for forgiveness. In spite of the fact, his child conceived through Uriah’s wife died. God heard David’s lament after this child died and forgave his sins. He then blessed Bathsheba with another son – Solomon. The lineage of David through Solomon would eventually include God’s own son, Jesus. This proves that David’s sin of murder due to an unexpected pregnancy was redeemable.
Like David, God knows your heart. You simply cannot hide from Him. He has sent people to help you, just like Nathan helped David. While the truth of our sin may hurt us deeply, the truth will set us free.
Jesus’ poignant words in John 6:40 relay, For my Father’s will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in him shall have eternal life, and I will raise them up at the last day.”
No matter what you’ve done in the past, God knows it all. As He forgave and restored David, He will do the same for you. Know that God will be with you and comfort you, giving you strength and a new purpose. Trust in Him!