Forgiveness Isn’t Optional
Forgiveness does not require contact, specifically with the father of your aborted child. God will help you forgive!
Forgiving doesn’t necessarily bring restoration of a relationship. It is likely that the relationship with the father of the aborted child will not be restored.
You may be married to the father of your aborted child. You may need to work through the issues surrounding the abortion separately before you can come together and share about the impact of the abortion on your marriage.
Your relationship with your family may not be immediately restored. Sometimes relatives need to come to a point of accepting an apology and letting go of their own bitterness. You are not responsible for anyone’s emotions but your own.
Forgiveness is an act of the will and impacts one’s intimate relationship with God. The act of forgiving is not optional as relayed by Jesus in His sample prayer, which we refer to as the Lord’s Prayer, found in Matthew 6:12-15: Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your father will not forgive your sins.
Here is a better way to look at all the aspects of forgiveness. Below is a simple acrostic on the principles of Biblical forgiveness. After each statement, we have added Scriptures to verify these point:
F – Forgive the hurt done to you
Matthew 6:14-15 – If you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your father will not forgive your sins.
O – Offer up your confession to Jesus for your sins
I John 1:9 – If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
R – Recognize the people you have hurt
Matthew 5:23-24 – Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar, first go and be reconciled with your brother; then come and offer your gift.
G –Give heartfelt love to those you are forgiving
Romans 12:17-20 – Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath for it is written: ‘it is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ said the Lord. On the contrary: If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will be heaping coals of fire upon his head.’ Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good.”
I – Implore God to bless those you have hurt
Matthew 5:44-48 – But I tell you: love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly father is perfect.
V – Value, in prayer, your enemies believing Jesus can change them
Romans 4:4 – Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls and he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.
E – Embrace God’s forgiveness of you with rejoicing
Ephesians 4:31-32 – Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.