“What happened to my baby during the abortion?” the woman asked me fearfully. “Did my baby feel any pain?”
For women who have chosen abortion, the idea that their unborn child was “pain-capable” can blow their minds. Post-abortive women have often bought the lie that abortion only removes “a blob of tissue.” When you state that “blob” may feel pain while they are being aborted, the abortion provider’s “blob lie” fizzles.
Let’s first be clear – few women enter abortion clinics believing they will be subjecting a tiny human to a brutal death. Instead, they hang onto the lie from abortion providers that abortion simply “removes a blob of tissue” – not a human being.
The horror of discovering my child was NOT a blob of tissue propelled a quick realization that I had been lied to by the abortion clinic staff. This “#blob” led me to believe that pain to my child would be avoided if I aborted quickly.
Many women rush to abort thinking they are preventing a painful death upon these unborn human beings. Abortion is never a “good death” at any stage. The grief that arrives sometimes years later is often confusing as well.
“Did my baby feel pain?” is a typical question for women considering an abortion recovery class. Fetal development outlines a child’s appearance as an obvious tiny human even at seven weeks into development. Arms, legs, feet, head are obvious even at the early stage.
In realizing my child was not a “blob” but a tiny human at the moment of his death brought horror to my soul. I immediately repented to God and grieved my “murderous” actions. Then an abortion recovery class helped me process this pain, guilt, anger and sorrow.
In the following days of discovering my child was not a “blob,” I processed this truth in my soul. I allowed myself to go there and consider – Did the abortion clinic’s suction machine tear the limbs off my unborn baby’s tiny body? I pushed myself to face any buried truth that could remain in my heart concerning my participation in my child’s brutal death.
Nightmares then began their assault upon my conscience. Dreams of standing in a river of blood while pieces of tiny corpses floated by my feet came nearly every night. Accompanying the horror in these visions were children’s voices calling out to me in obvious pain, asking for help.
Repentance came each morning due to the horrifying understanding of my actions. It was then that I embraced the title of “murderer” despite my initial ignorance over my child’s obvious human development.
Please note that it is one thing to use the “murderer” term in your own heart if you’ve experienced abortion. It is something VERY different to have other people brand us as “murderers.” In today’s political climate, the murder term is everywhere. The use of it to end abortion will not stop. So, at some point, all post-abortive people will be indirectly labeled by this derogatory term and must find a way to make peace with that truth.
Thankfully, God comforted me, assuring me that my child was now safe and warm in His heavenly care and felt pain no more. His word helped console me from 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 – Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.
Yet through that comfort, God was also revealing truth. That truth was so very difficult yet important for my future life. If abortion brutally and painfully takes the life of a tiny obvious child, I had to do more to help those who were considering making such a choice.
God knew the future He had for me before I was even born, as outlined Jeremiah 1:5 – “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart…”
Through the Biblical story of Paul’s incredible ministry, God helped me process my new title of “murderer.” Paul had ordered many Christians – men, women and children – to be killed before God stopped him.
When the appointed time arrived, God stopped Paul’s bloodshed by meeting him on a lonely road. As a result of divine intervention, Paul transformed into one that God could use to reach the world with the hope of His salvation. If God used Paul in such a way after countless murders, could He also use you?
I Timothy 1:12-17 shares a piece of Paul’s heart – I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who has given me strength, that he considered me trustworthy, appointing me to his service. Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief. The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.
As to whether or not a tiny human in a womb can feel pain at 20 weeks, I don’t want to take that chance. Being pain-capable could happen at 7 weeks… or even earlier. One side says they do suffer while the other says they don’t. Pain is complicated to identify and often experienced differently among human beings as well. But there is other evidence now.
Over the years of working with women who have experienced abortion, I’ve heard the stories of those who had late term abortion using a method called saline induction. This involves inserting saline (salt) into the womb to bring the demise of the tiny human occupant by burning its body. Abortion survivor and speaker, Gianna Jessen, survived such an induction process.
Every woman who endured this procedure shared the horror of feeling their baby twisting and turning in their wombs after the saline was injected. These movements indicated that their child was experiencing severe pain during this induction death process.
Scientists do admit that a fetus can respond to stimuli. For example, a heel prick from a needle used for amniocentesis can result in the fetus recoiling, much as an adult would to a painful pinprick. This test is normally performed between 11-20 weeks gestation.
Always remember that God has a plan for your life and never wastes any pain that we endure. He is there to comfort you now but always realize your lost child(ren) are safe and warm in God’s care.
Beyond Regret: Entering into Healing and Wholeness After Abortion DVD Video
Her Choice to Heal: Finding Spiritual and Emotional Peace After Abortion Paperback$12.95
Her Choice to Heal: Finding Spiritual and Emotional Peace After Abortion Audiobook$12.95
Abortion Recovery Guide Workbook$12.95