Session Nine: Sharing Your Secret
As one of the very first women to publicly confess an abortion secret with the World back in July of 1992, I know that abortion testimonies can be very powerful in the world – both in providing individuals with the hope of God’s healing and to discourage other women from making this choice. The story of how I ended up being a pioneer in sharing the secret of abortion is included in this session.
The Biblical basis of sharing the secret of abortion is outlined in Revelations 12:11 – They overcame him (Satan) by the blood of the Lamb (Jesus) and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death.”
Overcoming the enemy thorough a testimony requires a great deal of sacrifice. Many times our family members join us in this sacrifice so they must be considered before accepting the call to speak publicly. My public abortion testimony caused my parents a great deal of pain and embarrassment. They felt it was inappropriate to “air your dirty laundry” in public.
When I first started sharing my abortion experience, nothing really magically happened. I was blessed to reveal my abortion truth to a wonderful group of people that did not judge me. Then I then painfully agreed to attend an abortion recovery program. The last thing I expected was God’s miraculous healing and restoration to result from that effort. That class released me from the emotional pain and depression that had haunted my life since my abortion decision.
God made it very obvious to my heart soon thereafter that He was calling me to outline my personal struggle with abortion to offer the same hope of God’s healing to other wounded hearts. I must confess that sharing publicly wasn’t a calling I initially embraced. I fought this calling, but God’s hand was heavy upon my heart.
While I feared rejection and judgment, I was blessed that the initial audience to hear my story responded with love and compassion. God later opened the door for my story to be shared on the Focus on the Family daily broadcast with Dr. James Dobson. I became one of the very first to share publicly about the spiritual, emotional, physical and psychological aspects of abortion.
Since that time, I’ve openly shared my story all over the world. I’ve testified before audiences as large as 750,000 and as small as one person. Each one is just as difficult as that first testimony. It has never gotten any easier to share this story. To be silent no more at a public level is a very difficult calling that requires spiritual depth and stamina. Each time I experience the horror of choosing to end the life of my first child. I grieve again for this child that I will never hold this side of heaven. The only consolation in this pain is that God has a bigger picture and is using my testimony for His glory.
Over the years, I’ve watched the pro-life movement openly encourage and even solicit the post-abortive testimony for various pro-life “awareness” efforts. Sadly I’ve also ministered to the women that participated in these events only to discover that their emotional pain has been intensified as a result. This has convinced me that a public abortion testimony is a RARE calling because of the intense responsibility and spiritual depth that is required. In addition, it is not enough to be able to share – we must also be able to tangibly help those that come forward as a result.
This session is designed to help you examine what God is calling you to do in the future regarding your abortion testimony. If you feel called by God to share publicly, this session will provide you with steps you need to consider/take before mounting a platform and bearing this secret to the World.
My first question on that initial night of my abortion recovery class was, “Are you going to make us tell anyone?” I was relieved to discover that encouraging public confessions wasn’t the purpose of the group.
One of the first questions post-abortive women ask me is, “Should I tell my husband or children?” I believe that husbands should be told about their wife’s abortion(s) as soon as possible.
There are some situations where sharing this truth may not be in God’s plan. Prayer is the only way to determine this fact. Many times the elderly cannot handle the burden of this truth.
The admission of having an abortion can require acknowledging multiple sin issues. For the teen or young single, keeping the secret of their lost virginity may have been the reason for the abortion.
In my early ministry life, learning post-abortion speaking dynamics occurred through “trial and error” because I was one of the first to share. God promised that He would touch listeners and establish a new army of healed voices to join my voice.
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Sydna Massé compassionately leads you on the difficult journey through denial, anger, and grief, to forgiveness, redemption, and letting go. Her Choice to Heal offers a road map to healing – practical suggestions, resources for help, space to journal, with the encouragement and hope.
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