Session Seven: Joy Comes in the Mourning
Denial, anger, depression, acceptance – these are all stages in the grieving process. No two people grieve in the same way or in the same order. Just remember that the goal of mourning is not to “get over” it but to get through it – to do the work of grieving.
It’s a powerful step to name your aborted child(ren) and to grieve their loss and have an honoring service to remember their presence in your life. This step can lead to deeper healing and letting go of this pain by giving it over to God. This process is outlined in Isaiah 43:18-19 NIV – Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland.
The sections in this session will provide more details about heaven and what your eventual meeting with your child could be like. God promised us in Psalms 126: 5-6 that – Those who sow with tears will reap with songs of joy. Those who go out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with them.
Also outlined are potential future triggers of post-abortion pain and ways to tame them that will help you process future emotions relating to your lost child(ren).
Meeting your child in heaven can be a difficult thing to consider. God is the only judge in heaven and everyone else simply enjoys a peaceful existence. Learning more about Heaven in this session will help you embrace that truth!
When we confess, many simply don’t realize that regardless of the sin, it isn’t in God’s character to hold our sins against us. Scripture verifies this truth that no matter what the sin, God can forgive!
“It’s so much better to remember your child as people with a name rather than just the title of, ‘my aborted baby,'” my abortion recovery class leader announced about two-thirds of the way through our time together.
One of my biggest fears concerned my arrival in heaven. Would my baby hate me? I also wondered if I would even recognize my child. For a time I became worried about Jesse’s welfare – who was caring for him?
The concept of a funeral service for my aborted child seemed overwhelming. I was ready to flee the class and never return when I heard about this even. I was in the wrong place in the room to excuse myself without embarrassment.
One cannot “earn” God’s forgiveness. God does not desire sacrifice or gifts. He wants our broken spirits and a broken and contrite heart. In giving these to God, my sinner’s heart died and a new creature was born.
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Sydna Massé compassionately leads you on the difficult journey through denial, anger, and grief, to forgiveness, redemption, and letting go. Her Choice to Heal offers a road map to healing – practical suggestions, resources for help, space to journal, with the encouragement and hope.
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