Session Three: Denial

Denial is a wall of protection that a woman puts up in her heart in order to cope with the reality of her choice. This wall is often built with bricks of guilt and shame. Society provides bricks, mortar and even laborers for the job.

The first brick was laid when abortion became an option. Another section of the wall is built during the abortion itself. Bricks are added over the years to make the wall taller.

The wall serves as a buffer zone to keep us safe from the memories of losing our children and our pain in ending their lives.

The bricks can be grief, guilt, shame, avoidance of the abortion topic, influences to abort, etc.

Perhaps you’ve been denying the truth about your abortion. Just as the wall of denial is built slowly, the wall will probably come down slowly. It may take days . . . weeks . . . and even months. You’ll think the wall is gone, and you’ll find another pile of bricks.

Give yourself time to dismantle the wall of denial. When you complete the exercises in this session, you’ll learn more about guilt and shame and how these emotions may have impacted your life. Our prayer is that you will realize God’s perspective, as revealed in Jeremiah 29:11-13 – NIV – For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

 

5 Stages of Denial

In the typical life cycle of an abortion decision, a period of relief immediately afterwards is quite normal.

Dismantling Denial

The denial after abortion process is tricky to maintain because it’s deeply dysfunctional!  We often take one step forward towards healing and then twenty steps backwards.

 Guilt Versus Shame

Guilt and shame are very different.  They have different faces depending on the circumstances surrounding the abortion decision.

Bible Character: Peter

The Bible is filled with examples of people in denial, not just to God and others, but to themselves as well. In this session, we will read about Peter.

Anniversary Reminders

On the day of my aborted child’s due date, I found myself crying all night. As I applied a hot washcloth to my eyes, I began to believe I was losing my mind due to some unknown reason.

God’s Perspective

Here are passages of Scriptures that address God’s love relating to our emotions of guilt and shame.

Denial & You

Perhaps you’ve been denying the truth about your abortion. Just as the wall of denial is built slowly, the wall will probably come down slowly.

3 Common Mindsets After Abortion

Post-abortion healing often begins when post-abortive women take the tentative step to exit their self-imposed prisons of secrecy to reach out for help.

Life After Abortion

Think about your life since your abortion. Using the list of Abortion PTSD symptoms, identify those that could be impacting your life as a result of your abortion.

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Ramah Resources

Healing After AbortionSydna Massé compassionately leads you on the difficult journey through denial, anger, and grief, to forgiveness, redemption, and letting go. Her Choice to Heal offers a road map to healing – practical suggestions, resources for help, space to journal, with the encouragement and hope.
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